"I want to make a difference!"

I want so badly to make a difference in the world; it hurts. I look around to determine if there are any results from my efforts. Lord what have I done? Lord, what can I do?

I have been contemplating this for weeks, months and even years to be honest. I know he is the Potter and I am the clay (Isaiah 64:8); we are made by His hands and for the work He has for us. I ask Him: What kind of pot am I? What is my purpose? Lord, I desire for my pot to be used in the most effective way. Over the years I have discovered some uses for this ol’clay, but I feel like there is something else or there should be more. I am not doing enough. Tell me what to do.

Today as I write these things, my thoughts are a little clearer. I am sure one answer is that I need to let go of self. Humble myself. Give all to Him. I need to step back and let Him be glorified.

Then I ask how can I willing do this? A part of letting go of self requires daily submitting to the Master. I must trust His rule. When I admit it, I actually find stability and security in His control; but, I must let him lead. My answer is found in various ways, and this surrendering only comes through prayer.

What is prayer? Prayer is placing our requests before Him (Philippians 4:4-7). The interesting part from this passage in Philippians is the Lord is near. We are not to worry the least little bit, because our minds will be guarded in Christ. God guards our minds. This is a daily or moment to moment request. If my mind is to be guarded, I must pray. If I am to release self and submit, I must pray; I must be near Him.

How is all this possible? I must train myself to rejoice in the Lord by accepting the peace that He gives when I approach Him. Through this peace, my heart and mind is totally protected from damaging His work or purpose. My mind is guarded.

Why pray? We pray to be near to God. What country or nation is so grand as to have God so close to them as we do when we pray? We have the True God near us (Deuteronomy 4: 7). That speaks enough.

How often should we pray? Continuously. I must devote or give myself over to prayer. And, while I am praying, I am watching or allowing Him to guard my mind. I never really put these two scriptures or thoughts together before. I cannot guard and watch vigilantly without His power and peace being passed on to me. Just last week I wondered how I could watch in prayer. I can not; God can. Again He has promised to guard my mind and heart.

Where should I pray? Not necessarily thinking about a physical location, I questioned this. The scripture in Ephesians 6: 18 states that we are to pray “in the Spirit”. Here we find the word watch again — “watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints”. The word perseverance is determination. I must be single-minded. I must conscientiously let go and allow the Spirit to be master of my mind and thoughts. The Spirit helps me. He makes intercession for me. Also, when I am praying for others, self is placed on the back burner.

Supplication means plea. Plea seems to be a stronger word even though it is just a synonym. How can I place my pleas before Him? Uprightly. This can only be done when we hold to Proverbs 15:8. The prayer of a righteous one satisfies the Lord. He delights in our prayers.

So, I ask. What must I do? Nothing; He does it all. How can I make a difference? I can’t; He can. How do I humble myself then? Watch and pray. Will the desire, the hurt, to make a difference ever go away? The answer is found only in prayer.
L. Burch, Journal, Dec. 2008