One Thanksgiving holiday Buck wrote a poem. About a month later, I read it again and one particular thought or stanza really struck me right to the core. “Like Judas’s skewed vision, I try to paint You into my creations instead of You revealing me in Yours.” So, that has been one of my problems. That is why my vision is skewed, because I have been the one trying to paint the picture. I must allow the Lord to paint the strokes not me.
I actually enjoy painting and want to study more on the subject. I have pulled out a brush or two and painted a few scenes. In the beginning when I started out, though, I immediately began painting on a canvas without preparing it. I had no clue that I must first prime the support. Therefore, the strokes looked thick and uneven. I was in too big of a hurry and did not study up on the topic before I began. The surface needed to be smooth and prepared for the oils.
Sometimes I do the same thing in life. I jump right into a task or challenge without thinking it through or without preparing the canvas. Just as the Master slowly prepares us for His work, we must be willing to let Him prime us. Priming a painting surface does not always happen overnight. It takes several hours mostly depending on the temperature. It takes years sometimes to prepare us for His service and work.
Many times when I am faced with a project, my view is distorted. I have assurance that it will become clear eventually, but I often tackle the challenge by myself instead of allowing the Creator to finish the piece through me. I am not saying that we need to just sit back and wait for everything to come to surface and not put forth any effort. It is just that we must understand that the Master is the one that paints, because He sees the overall picture. We must be willing to allow Him to guide us.
Details also matter in a painting and make-up the whole. An experienced painter observes the scenery in depth before even picking up the brush. God does the same with our lives! Unfortunately if we are in too big of a hurry, we often just glance. But we must train ourselves to observe.
Right now we are helping to start an English speaking ministry at a large church in Moscow. From day one the pastors and leaders of the church were ready for us to begin. First we said that we must pray. For weeks now we have set an example by praying in the sanctuary after the service for those interested. We want the ministry to become one of the churches. It will be theirs not ours. Our existence in country is temporary. The ministry should not revolve around us anyway. It needs to be indigenous and done according to His will. I can honestly say at times I was ready to plunge right in, but this has been the wiser move. Anything that is effective takes time.
There is one other factor that I sometimes want to overlook. I love projects, and I love seeing the outcome. I must remind myself over and over again the following: It is not only about the finished product; it is about the process, too. Sometimes it is hard to submit and move at His pace. God sees the whole painting; I cannot. Thus, I hand over the brush and allow Him to reveal me in His work. My vision then becomes clearer.
-L.Burch, 2009
