in the shadows

The other week I went to church without my family because they were a little under the weather. It was a day filled with meetings, teaching and discipling. I had a lot of time to think on the way to church as I traveled by way of metro and walking. It has been a joy this past year to work and serve at Golgotha. The people have been so kind and supportive of our ministry there. I love our pastor and his family as I did my pastor in Saint Petersburg. I can honestly say that these two men have found a special place in my heart because of their devotion to the Lord and leadership skills.

I teach an English Bible study lesson for the kids and parents that attend the class. As we study the English language, I infiltrate Bible lessons and Biblical vocabulary words. And parents who live in neighboring apartment buildings attend with their children. The attendance pattern is so sporadic though. We even had a totally new group yesterday. Sometimes we have 15, and other times it may just be five or six. However, I adapt the lesson for whoever shows and trust that the students will gain new insight from the Word. And for those who do not have a personal relationship with the Lord, I pray that they come to know Him.

As I was contemplating about church and this ministry, I thought about the day and what part I enjoyed the most. I sit among ladies who have totally let me into their group as one of them. Yesterday I was giving an illustration about the Baptist churches and in the Russia language I said, “Our churches in Russia….” Then I paused, apologized and mentioned that I could not help but say “our” churches even though I know that I am an American, but I have lived here for so long. One lady commented that there was no need for me to apologize, because I am Russian. She may never know how much a compliment like that is cherished by a missionary. I also like to receive flowers, fresh berries and vegetables gifts and simple hugs, pats or kisses from the sisters in Christ. Yesterday I was given a bag full of yellow berries. I have no clue what they are, but the offer was nice. I love the ladies in our church, and I think they know it.

Having just translated 11 lessons on spiritual gifts for the upper-intermediate English class, I try to make the most of everything I do for the building up of the body of Christ. The way may be a small one but the desire is huge. We all are needed to work together and are found useful for a purpose. I ask for wisdom to use my time wisely and for direction, because I want to make the most of my efforts—not just good but the best. I desire to use my gifts in the way that pleases the Father.

So, I bounced from meeting to meeting and group to group throughout the day and was torn where to actually stay, because I treasure it all. For a person who loves activity and being involved where the action is, however, I found myself wanting to withdraw, land in the shadows and be of use in a one-on-one situation.

Looking at the whole picture, I so enjoyed the entire day; but my favorite moment was sitting at a secluded table with a new believer in Christ. This lady repented several months ago in another church in Moscow. She started attending our church after her move to the north side of the city. I have been chatting with her for weeks now and felt it was time to ask her if she wanted to have a cup of tea together and find a spot in the church to study. I wanted to disciple and pray with her if she desired.

I pulled out an old Bible study that I wrote years ago while living in Bryansk and we started on the first lesson—“Assurance of my Relationship with the Father” (A Woman’s Path to God, 2003). Nothing beats sharing your own testimony with others. I know that there are many great books and teachings on the market. But when a person has something from experience to share, it is valued so much more. So, my new adventure, not hers, is encouraging one new believer how to know Him. She even eagerly told me before I could embrace the topic again, “I need to baptized; I do not need to put it off any longer.” I guess my plans of study will move a little faster than I expected.

I thank the Lord for how He encourages me. Just when I question my worth, my efforts or my selfish thoughts of did “I” do this right or am “I” being used for You in the right way, He points everything back to His work. The Holy Spirit does not need me, but thank God He allows me to participate, especially in the shadows!