Behind "Closed" Doors

As I climb the stairs to my apartment on the 11th floor, I see many closed apartment doors. Unfortunately I rarely meet the people behind them. This saddens me. Things are always so still; things are hidden.

Since the time of Lenin and Stalin, Russia has changed in many ways. However, in small ways the culture is still the same. These leaders led the society to become communal. I still see evidence of the same system today. For example, I watched part of a soviet film yesterday and was amazed how some of the buildings and streets have not changed that much. The film depicted how the strong ruled over the weak. Some people did not concern themselves with the struggle; they seemed to simply exist.
I see a portion of society still living this way. People who lived during the communist regime are now approaching the elderly age. Many stay to themselves unless confronted. They seldom reach out first. I am not stereotyping the system as a whole. There are always exceptions. When an opportunity does arise to meet someone, generally I start the conversation first.

As I ponder these thoughts and put things into perspective, I am reminded of my grandmother who is now 92. As a young person, she lived during the time of the Great Depression in the States. She never forgot those days. My mother and I were cleaning out her cabinets one day and found stacks and stacks of canned tomatoes and multiple can openers. Of course, many cans had expired, and I wondered why the many can openers. Ready to throw the extra away and get rid of the old, I did not seem to understand the real story. My grandmother jumped into the picture and said that the items must be kept, because she may need them one day. Having remembered the days when times were tough and when there was a shortage of everything, she did not want to be left without ever again. I guess those same cans and stacks of can openers are still sitting in her cupboard today. I must remember how events affect people and accept them for who they are.

As I try to befriend my neighbors in this culture, I sometimes wonder the best way to approach those around me. I still question why I rarely see the people who live right next door. Why are things hidden? Why is it so hard to reach out to others? This is somewhat of a mystery.

A long time ago I came to the realization that behind many “closed” doors are many opportunities. People are willing to communicate. The timing just must be right. A relationship needs to be established— some common bond. We must discover how we are similar. I always try to find even small ways that we relate. Most importantly I must be ready for the perfect moment. I pray I never miss those chances.

The other day I sensed the Lord wanting me to speak to my neighbor, the one right next door. I have spoken to her many times before. We have tried to befriend her, invited her to tea, taken her gifts and just tried to show her we cared. For some reason I could not cross the invisible bridge into her life or so called territory. Of course, when the Lord asks me to do something, I cannot refuse. Therefore, I tried again to enter her world. I rang the doorbell not knowing what response I was going to get. She came to the door with that look and tone: “What do you want?” I broke right through the tension with a smile on my face and said that we were boxing up our things to move from St. Pete in a few weeks. She frowned and voiced that she was disappointed. She went on to share that our kids were great kids.

I saw that as an opening to share the Gospel. I commented, “They are good kids, because we read the Bible everyday.”

I then asked, “Do you have a Bible?”

She responded, “Yes, but I rarely read it.”

Somehow my bold side crept up. After discovering that she had a Bible, I bluntly said, “Then you need to read it. And one of the easiest places to start is in one of the Gospel letters— John.”

I continued the conversation by quoting John 3:16. I shared what the Lord means to me and how He died for all on the cross. We had a great time talking together. She willfully listened. We were able to talk about the importance of a personal relationship with the Lord. I explained how our assurance cannot be based on what particular “faith” we claim. I prayed with her right in our doorway. The timing just seemed right.

When I returned home, I thanked God for the opportunity. I treasure those moments and wish there were a million more. It is necessary to practice patience when timing is of essence. The next time I pass an empty, dark, lifeless, quiet hallway, I will pray for those who live behind the “closed” doors. They need Him, too

Teach to Teach

As many of you know, the past few weeks our family has taught English as a Second Language classes at the local Baptist church we attend. The entire family participated in some way. I taught the beginners class, Buck led the advance class in a Bible study, Ashlyn took part in an introductory lesson, Amielle assisted in writing the notes on the board and Luke helped by passing out candy during tea times. What a joy we had serving together!

When the class began, we pushed forward to help the students learn English. I think it was a success, but there was a greater, underlining success if one realized what was actually taking place, precisely what goal was developing in the hearts of the believers. Step-by-step Buck led the advanced speakers through a simple inductive Bible study method. And, step-by-step they began to understand and to accept this new way of studying the Bible. Our prayer was for them to realize that this method could be used at home or in a small group setting. A faithful core group of 6-8 now feel prepared to not only continue with their English learning but also prepared to lead a study. We do not know exactly what God has planned for these dear ones, but they are excited about studying His Word in this manner and entertaining the thought of teaching others.

My heart was blessed as 3-4 ladies stood around me to tell me “goodbye” as we are moving from St. Pete the first of June. God turned the conversation around from just saying farewell, and we joyfully talked about how to use this method with the lost. I shared about my experiences with leading small women’s groups and my opportunities of praying with others who desired to lead groups. May our efforts of teaching others be passed on so that others will teach! May God use these precious believers to share their faith with their lost friends!

Two Steps at a Time

I want to expand on my thoughts about our plight to stay in country. Having already explained the process (in a post below), shared how I know that God is in control and committed our lives to Him because we know He is in charge, I feel I must paint a picture for you about the steps that I am taking. Actually the steps come slowly and the way is hard to see.

Remembering several years ago when our family lived a city about eight hours outside of Moscow, I can vividly recount the spiritual battles that we sometimes endured while serving there. When I was a teenager, I had a pastor that took the time to teach our youth group about spiritual warfare. Maybe I had even experienced it to some degree during those years, but not to this magnitude. Of course, while at a learning center for missionaries in the States, we had a few seminars about it before we came to the field. I had heard stories about other missionaries experiencing such a thing, but many of those missionaries live and work with tribal communities where witchcraft is practiced. Definite battles and fights with the enemy are apparent in those types of surroundings.

Our area is different, yet somewhat the same. There was a constant, dark shadow that lingered around us. There were no professing witch doctors or such, but the majority of the people were so wrapped up in superstition and pagan practice that false worship and mystical belief led them on the path to Hell. The general population accepted that Jesus Christ was born, but they had no personal relationship with Him. Many trusted the reading of the stars, the lighting of a candle or the kissing of an icon in prayer to save or direct them.

It was as if I were a soldier on my knees crawling through a maze of smoke, not knowing where to go. The bullets and darts were flying past— circumstances, pressures, stresses, sicknesses, etc. I knew that I was going to get hit. And, I did. But, I had to continue moving forward regardless of the wound and unpreventable scar. Unfortunately I could not see the captain to know where to go. Oh, but I heard His voice. If I listened very carefully, I would hear a sound, a faint whisper: “Come this way.” I proceeded in that direction. Then there was no sound, that is, His voice. I could only hear the sounds of battle. Out of nowhere I heard His voice, the great captain that He is, again and knew where to retreat. Then finally I found my way to calm ground.

Today the battle raging is quite different, yet similar. Praise the Lord that my vision is clearer. I can see the captain. Maybe over the years, I have learned how not to get lost in the smoke. I have learned better how to keep my eyes on Him and do all I can to not get hit; though, sometimes I understand that things are beyond our control. However, He does give us wisdom if we ask for it. Oh, how I pray for wisdom!

I see Him. He is crouched down. I must do the same. It seems that I do not hear as much noise encircling me. Thankfully I am better trained, because I have allowed myself to be taught. I know I have more to learn, because I cannot see like He can. I trust. He took a step. I take a step. I clearly see He moved again. I move again. The pace is slow. The way is safe. I just do not know where I am going. But, I know this: He does! Therefore, I move one step at a time. Today I sense that we are moving one step at a time, maybe two. I will be honest. It is not easy being unable to fully see, but I press forward because I trust in the One who leads.

-The Chosen Path, journal entry 2008, L. Burch

Grocery Store before Easter

In Russia the Easter holiday celebration time just finished. Ashlyn writes about a tradition or ritual of Russian Orthodoxy below:

“I would like to speak of an incident that happened at a grocery store here. My family had gone to a grocery store called Carousel. We went in and were standing around cakes that had the Russian letters XB on them, which stands for ‘Jesus has risen.’ Well I heard a sound like a priest chanting from the Bible. I turned around and there he was— the priest with a black robe and gold cross around his neck. This was an Orthodox priest. After he was finished chanting from the Bible, he took a brush and dipped it in to water. He took the brush and shook it over the cakes. People would buy the cakes after the cakes were blessed. He would go around to other people who had already picked up the cakes and sprinkle water in their buggies. This was an incident that I saw the day before Easter.”

In our Russian Baptist culture, I conclude, that this is the favorite holiday. Believers greet you with the phrase “Xhristos Voskres!” You answer with joy, “Voistiny Voskres!” Then it is repeated again, “Xhristos Voskres!” You answer with more excitement, “Voistiny Voskres!” And, on the third round, a fellow sister or brother looks you in the eye and as a huge smile on her or his face and shouts, “Xhristos Voskres!” You reply with as much enthusiasm and awe saying, “Voistiny Voskres!”— Christ has risen! He has risen indeed!

Amen. Thank you, Jesus, for dying for my sins, but not only that but also for rising again.

Journal Entry: no where to go

“Today I must share about our reoccurring plight to stay in country year after year. Our lifestyle is one of change. We are not guaranteed tomorrow in country. The sooner we learned this; the more relaxed we became living here. What a strange way of putting it! Relaxed. How can a person be relaxed and not know what tomorrow holds? My experience for learning this lesson happened a few years ago.

We left for visa renewal as we always do annually. This time, in 2005, we traveled to Finland as we had many times before. Matter of fact, over the past few years, we traveled to another country month after month for various reasons to be able to return and to live in Russia. The law requires that we be given an invitation by an inviting organization. We then approach the government with a request to live here. After gaining an invitation, we exit the country expecting to return in a day.

For many years I have been “nesting” or trying to make a home for my family. However, I fully know that one day we may not receive permission to stay. Being a mom, my responsibility is to make my family feel comfortable anywhere. Full understanding of all of this did not really become clear until I walked out of the Russian embassy in Helsinki, Finland, that day.

We sat for hours in a crowded building while awaiting a new visa. While trying to entertain my young children in the lobby, I looked up and saw Buck’s face at the agent’s window. I immediately knew something was wrong. We were told that we could not return to Russia until further notice. We must wait two weeks for a yes or no reply. There we were with only one change of clothes. I do not really remember walking out of the embassy and boarding a tram. Traveling I do not know where, for we had nowhere to go.

The feeling of rejection was so overwhelming that as soon as I sat down I began to cry. I felt so useless. As tears were streaming down my face, the Lord helped me put things into perspective. Sure, thoughts of what to do surfaced. Where are we going to stay? What about clothes? How much money do we have? Do we just ride the tram forever?

As soon as my eyes scanned the seats around me, I saw my family. In a quiet voice the Lord said, “This is all that matters. You have your family. They are what matters. Your things, your clothes, do not matter. You are together. It does not matter where you are in this world.” Then God called to memory a devotion that I had just started jotting down in my journal before I left.

Read Isaiah 48:17; 49:1-6
Key Passage: Listen to me, o islands; and pay attention, you distant nations. -Isaiah 49:1a

We may see God’s beautiful creation everyday. We may live in places that we call home. We may work with people that we love. We may travel many roads though only once. We may look through our apartment windows as if for the last time and realize we are finally beginning to understand our new culture. We may laugh and cry with our brothers and sisters. We may be comfortable. We may feel welcome in our new land. But then one day comes and because of outside circumstances, we are not sure about where we will be tomorrow.

Looking into God’s Word, we can be comforted by His Message to us. The Lord says that we are His servants. The Lord knew us before we were born. He called us by name. He gives us the words to speak. Our words and thoughts are not important; it is His words that matter. We remember that He keeps us in the palms of His hands and protects us. He perfects us and makes us useful for His work. God wants to display His splendor through us.

However, sometimes we feel as if we have worked for no purpose. Sometimes we question our worth. We may ask God, “Have we labored in vain for nothing here?” Then we are reminded from His word what is given to us is in the Lord’s hands. Our reward comes from Him. And our greatest reward is our relationship with Him. Our reward is with our God!

The Lord wants us to be satisfied with the fact that we are given the privilege to be His servants. We are to be lights to the Gentiles and to encourage and disciple His children. No matter where we are, where we call home, or what our positions are, He will allow us to bring salvation to the earth through our witness (Isaiah 49:1-6). This means no matter where we are in this world! We are not tied to things, places or one group of people. We are on a mission.

Maybe certain circumstances happen so that we might mature spiritually and begin to see with God’s eyes the plan for our mission— to not focus on the uncertainties that life brings but see the vision that the Lord had for us in the beginning. We are to be lights to the Gentiles so that we can bring His salvation to the world! And while we are being His servant, we can remember that we have security, we have stability, and we need not worry about where we will be tomorrow. The Lord says: “your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel; I am the Lord your God who teaches you success, who leads you in the way you should go.” (Isaiah 48:17)
-A Winter’s Path, devotion 47

We are on a mission with a message. We are missionaries no matter what geographic location we have been called. After investigation of our files, two weeks later we were given permission to return.

The laws for registration have changed many times over the years. Presently (winter 2006-2007) we have just learned that we possibly have a minimal number of days left in Russia for this year. Because of immigration laws and circumstances, apparently the government is allowing foreigners to live in country for only a total of 90 out of 180 days. Again we are reminded: Who knows what tomorrow holds? God knows and He will lead us in the way to go! We trust in that fact, but the wait is so long. I remember talking to Buck one morning about the possibilities. I have never experienced a wait so long just to find out one piece of information. I am not worried about tomorrow; I just want a quick glimpse of what it might hold. He left that day to attend a conference with church planters, but before he ended our morning conversation time he said, “A long wait means a big change.”

It is interesting how when a transition is about to take place that God seems to be preparing me for something new. I am totally at peace, but there is something I can not “put my finger on” as the old saying goes. Because of what seems to be a feeling of restlessness stirring in my soul, I have tried to resolve these whirling desires by various means. I have placed out a fleece (Judges 6:37) or two, asked for a word from the Lord, suddenly read a specific scripture for a time period or felt the Lord’s moving in a certain direction. However, this time it has been a long wait. God seemed to be preparing me months before we even heard of this new law. Really the new rules have little to do with my feelings of a pull to earnestly pray. I have asked concerning this matter and waited but have not yet heard an answer. Then one day it dawned on me; I was to listen, not to keep asking. For about a year now, Buck and I have been in fervent prayer, even fasted, for God to reveal and affirm His plans. I felt the Lord telling me it was time to “be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10). I guess it was time for me to grow up some. That is spiritually, in a manner of speaking.

I talked to my dad the other day on the phone about these very thoughts. I told him that I had such inner peace. I know that God is leading in all circumstances and changes that are currently encircling our lives. However, sometimes I am impatient. My dad said to keep exercising patience. I laughed and said, “Okay, when I am physically exercising every morning, I will keep pushing forward and endure until this day’s workout time is over.”

With the thought of just a few days left in an area, my frame of mind changed as well as others’. Why does it take such a shock for me to be reminded of the urgency, the need, to spread the Gospel? My desire to share Christ should be so strong that I am compelled to act at once, because last days are approaching. I know that God does not need me, but praise Him that He chose to use me. So, what am I doing for Him? The question is: If today was my last day, how would I spend it— fretting or being about the Father’s business? Soon He is coming to take His Church. Will anyone be there with whom I shared?

Personal evangelism, church planting and church developing seemed to be on the top of our list of responsibilities, not that these tasks ever ceased. With the idea of exiting, though, I desired to do all that was possible. We worked as the days counted down.

Our family traveled to Tallinn, Estonia, in the middle of March 2008. We had to leave and reenter Russia for these same registration purposes. We heard from the foreign minister’s office when we returned, and they reserved the right to call us and tell us that we had until the end of the month to leave the country. We had already been in Russia more than the allotted days for that specific year. However, they stamped us through June. We had done everything that we were required to do; therefore, we were granted the minimal months after our new entrance. We moved forward each day as if it may be the last.

Since a missionary’s life is one of constant change, I had to maintain proper perspective. While reading in Jeremiah the other day, I related my predicament to a specific passage (Jeremiah 35). God commanded a certain tribe to never settle down and to live in tents from place to place. They obeyed without question, not really knowing why. Then years and years later God was able to use this family branch as an example of obedience to the children of Israel. We are just to obey and daily walk with Him, even though unable to fully understand how it all makes sense. I wonder where my tent will be pitched next.”
-The Chosen Path, journal entry “no where to go”, 2008, L. Burch